When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches
by LittleLeopard
Summary: When two new arrancar girls are added to the espada ranks all hell will in general break loose.
1. Two?

When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches  
By skitzokitty (=^.^=)  
Warnings: I have absolutely no idea what is gonna happen (=-.-=), it's outta my hands, so as for warnings the possibilities: shit ton of cussing, blood and violence, not sure if that covers it…oh! And random bouts of schizophrenia and random shit! Maybe other some other shit, but I'll leave that up to the readers who review.  
A/n: there are two oc's in this chap (and the rest of this series for that matter, there may be one or two others, not sure yet). They are as follows: Bartholomew Montoya (Bart/B-chan) and Azmarrea Silverstag (Azzy/Rea [only Stark calls her 'Rea']). These two girls were sisters in the human world before becoming hollows, as time went on they both became adjuchas(Bart was like a hyena while Azzy was leopard-like), Bart is forceful, aggressive, has drastic mood swings, and is protective of her sister (when she's not beating on her), Azzy is shy, possibly messed up in the head, a bit childish, and as powerful as her 'sister' (she is underestimated b/c of the way she acts).  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, if I did a lot of things would be different such as Azzy and Bart being real characters. Oh! And let's just say this takes place before any Espada start getting killed, shall we?  
Dedications: I am dedicating this story to my sister, Kellie, aka the evil cheesecake aka Satan's child aka Bartholomew, without her inane ramblings, the oc's wouldn't have been created nor most of these situations, and this chapter is dedicated to my little black book, without it I wouldn't have been able to write chapters on the fly.  
On with the show! ^(=^.^ =)^

Chapter 1: Two?

*****Grimmjow's pov*****

'Damn, Aizen. Why the hell did I have to be here?" I thought bitterly. Aizen knew I didn't give a flying fuck about the Arrancar he was going to bring in today. 'Fucker just wants to show off again.' I looked around. Just Gin, Barragan, myself, and that damn little suck up, Ulquiorra. A sudden flash of light, a little brighter than usual, and the new bastard was here. I didn't feel like looking at him as I figured I wouldn't be seeing him again after today.

"Can you tell me your names?" Aizen-that asshole- said in that smug fucking voice of his. Wait, 'names'?

"Yes," came the dual-toned reply. I looked up. That voice- no correction- those voices sounded distinctly female. One look confirmed it. Two girls, one sat on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chest, the other was standing hand on hip. I looked away again. They didn't even look like a likely threat or any fun to fight.

"What are your names?"

"Azmarrea Silverstag." the one on the floor replied sweetly while the other growled out a "None of your fucking business."

"I didn't ask for a smart aleck remark." Aizen glowered at the girl. "Tell me your name." The girl was obviously not pleased to be talked down to. 'Who would?' I thought snidely.

"Not that it's any of your business what my name is, but you can call me Bartholomew Montoya." she sneered. It was kinda funny to hear someone talk back to Aizen like that. You could practically feel the anger rolling off him in waves. 'this chick could be fun,' I mused.

Then that creeper, Gin, decided to throw his two cents in with: "Isn't that a boy's name?" I had to see this, it could be interesting.

"And your point would be…?" she waved her hand in dismissal at Gin.

That old fuck, Barragan, was staring blatantly at the two girls. No small wonder as to why. Hell, they were both fucking naked, probably why the other one was still on the floor.

The one standing was nearly as pale as that priss Ulquiorra, if that was even possible, purple shoulder length hair, and piercing silver eyes. Her mask circled her left eye and ran down the side of her face to her chin, the bottom edge was shaped like the upper part of a jaw with razor sharp teeth. She apparently either didn't care that she was naked or was daring one of us to comment. Her hollow hole was in the dead center of her chest right between her breasts. Not that I was looking!

The other one had bright green hair loosely curled down her back, it was impossible to see her eyes hidden as they were behind her arms. She easily rivaled the other girl in paleness but apparently was not the dominant one. The purpled haired one was in an intense staring contest with Barragan, completely ignoring Aizen. It so pissed him off to be ignored. I would've laughed but I knew Aizen would probably have taken my arm off again, so I wisely kept my mouth shut.

All of a sudden Bartholomew squatted down and poked the other in the head. "Hey, wake up, dumbass." 'she was asleep this whole time?'

"Huh?" the girl looked up bleary eyed at the purpled haired one. Silver. They had they same see-right-through-you-silver eyes. The remains of her mask took the form of a set of jawbones that held her hair back from her face.

"I said 'wake up'. You can't be falling asleep here." she snapped.

"But it's cold in here." Azmarrea whined.

"That's because you have no clothes on, dipshit."

"Oh, really?" she looked down and blushed. "Bart, I really need something to wear." she looked up at the girl who just rolled her eyes.

Aizen walked out of the room shaking his head, leaving the rest to Gin, that creeper. Said creeper looked around the room with that grin of his (can that be called a grin?) and headed out the door as well.

That purple haired girl straightened, turning her pointed stare at Barragan, yet again. She raised a hand, pointing at him.

"You, old man. Give me your jacket." she didn't ask for it she demanded it. The old fuck just leered at her. She snapped her fingers at him. "Hello! I'm not fucking talking to myself, am I? Hand it over, or your head will be adorning that damn table."

"Now what makes you think you could?" Her eyes tightened.

"Bastard, you have until I count to three or your head becomes an ornament. One," she started.

"You're cute, but I don't think so." Barragan crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. Azmarrea started laughing. Actually it sounded more like cackling.

"Three." It was uttered so quietly I barely caught it before Barragan's head went flying through the air. Faster than I could see she had, using only the fingers of her right hand, cut his head off. Now she was pulling his blood stained jacket off his corpse as Gin walked back in, spare clothes in hand.

"Well this certainly is interesting." Gin remarked. He set the clothes on the end of the table closest to Bartholomew.

"Fuck you," Bartholomew growled while handing the over-sized garment to Azmarrea. "Here, wear this, dumbass." the green haired girl just beamed up at her.

"Thank you!" As she slid her arms through the sleeves she sniffed at the stains. Seemingly without a thought to what she was doing, or who was watching, she began to lap at the blood. The other smacked her up side the head.

"Ew! That is seriously gross! What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she looked up innocently at the other.

"Don't 'what' me! You don't know where he's been! What if he had a decease or something? He certainly looked like it. Where's your common sense? I can't believe we're even sisters!" she threw her hands in the air.

"Ha! You admitted it!" Azmarrea pointed at her in victory. The two started to bicker pointlessly. 'This is just too funny.' I thought to myself as confusion fleetingly crossed Ulquiorra's face. Gin broke up the two sisters.

"Alright, ladies," they looked at him like he was crazy. "Let's stop the fighting shall we? I have clothes here for both of you. Aizen-sama has dismissed the rest of you, by the way." Gin handed the girls the clothes and walked out right behind Ulquiorra. I could finally see Azmarrea's hollow hole, it was below her right wrist.

They started to argue again about what Azmarrea should and shouldn't wear of the clothes Gin had provided. I figured I'd take a nap right here since my chair was starting to feel more comfortable to me.

*****no one's pov*****three weeks later*****

With Barragan dead and two new Arrancar, it seemed quite natural that Bart took his place with Azzy as her Fraccion. Even though Azzy wasn't an Espada she still went just about everywhere with Bart. To important meetings, on all her missions, to bother the hell out of the other Espada, it didn't matter to her really, she was just there to help her sister, even if Bart didn't want it. Though after a while her sister would get annoyed enough to hit her on the head.

Now three weeks after their arrival they were arguing, as they did at least once every four or five hours, on their way to a meeting. This time it was about Azzy's favorite thing to dispute about: her clothes. It was one of the few times she could possibly win the argument.

"Why are you wearing that ugly ass thing still?" Bart snapped.

"What's wrong with it?" Azzy retaliated. They turned down a hallway.

"Well for one thing you have no pants." Bart pointed to her sister's bare legs. She had chosen to keep the former number two's jacket, though it was rather over-sized on her petite frame. The hem hung down to about mid thigh, the sleeves had been altered so that they reached her fingertips, and she now had a black sash festooned about her waist.

"But it's easier to move in," she threw back. As if to prove her point she ran down the hall and back. Another thing that bothered Bart was the way her sister walked. It was never flat like 'normal' people but on her toes, her heels rarely ever touched the floor. "If a bit itchy." she pulled at the fur trim she hadn't been able to remove from the collar.

"By the way where the fuck are your shoes?"

"Dunno."

"Go get your damn shoes." Bart sighed.

"No! I'm not wearing them!" Azzy stuck out her tongue.  
"Hypocrite. Your not wearing yours either." Bart just grumbled under her breath. Azzy just smiled. She knew she won.

"Fine, be that way. But if you don't put on some shorts I'll tell Nnoitra that you don't wear underwear!" Azzy looked aghast.

"You wouldn't dare!" she accused. "And that's a lie!"

"I would and you know it. Besides do you think that me lying like that would stop Nnoitra from trying to look?"

"Fine but it'll have to wait until the meeting is over." she mumbled 'cheater' under her breath and tugged on her collar again. Bart smiled, she knew she won.

*****later at the meeting*****Azzy's pov*****

"Bartholomew!" Aizen-sama snapped. "Have you heard a word that I've said?" B-chan looked up at him bored. Aizen-sama scowled.

"Yeah, yeah. Can I go now?"

"Fine." Aizen-sama wasn't happy at all. My sister waltzed out the room without a second glance. For once I didn't follow her out.

I walked over and poked him in the forehead. "You'll get wrinkles if you keep frowning so much." I smiled up at him.

"What is wrong with her?" he muttered so quietly that I barely it heard it standing in front of him.

"Well." I said. "She has authority issues, a superiority complex, violent tendencies, gets bored eas-" Aizen-sama held up a hand.

"I get the picture, thank you." I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward.

"You're welcome!" I bowed enthusiastically and skipped out that room like a demented rabbit. I figured if I wanted to keep B-chan from telling perverted lies to Nnoitra, I should scrounge up some new clothes.

My room wasn't anything like other Fraccion got. It consisted on my sister's over sized closet. It was large enough for me to sleep in and to have a small bookshelf. My 'bed' was just a pile of blankets that I curled up in at night. I searched through all my belongings. Nothing. I had absolutely nothing to use for a suitable substitute to the former Segundo's modified jacket. I spent the next five minutes trying to fix the damage I had done to my 'room.'

I went to Harribel-san's room to ask for her help. She agreed. I left her room half an hour later. My outfit now consisted of a white vest, similar to Lilinette's except that mine was actually zipped up, a pair of tight shorts that ended mid-thigh and rode low on my hips, a pair of Szayel-kun's gloves with the fingers cut off, and I had retied my black sash around my waist. I also tied my long, green hair up in a high ponytail with a long black ribbon. Unlike most of the other Espada, Harribel-san didn't try to get me wear the shoes everyone else wore.

After that, I randomly wandered the halls in search of something to do. This place could get so dull without someone to play with. Although it was always fun to see what B-chan brought back from the human world. Last week it was a deck of cards, four days ago it was a black t-shirt that she now wears, and two days back it was a cat toy that she used to drive me crazy for nearly three hours. That is until Gin-san decided to stop her, thus resulting in him getting whack with the damn thing. He still sports a nice, long welt along the back of his neck. Man, that girl can swing!

After a few minutes I stumbled across an open room. I peeked in. Tousen-san had his back to me, it looked like he was writing or something. One could never be too sure. I just had to see if I could sneak up on him. Before I had a chance to, a pale hand grabbed my leg in a bone-crushing grip. Needless to say I was surprised as hell! In response I stupidly jerked around slamming the front of my head into the doorframe, effectively knocking myself out.

*****End of chapter one*****  
I bet you just hate cliffhangers (=^.^=), but since I had nowhere to go but unconscious I couldn't very well keep this running. Plus I realize that this first chap is really long. Gomen nasai(=-.-=) I didn't mean for it to be this long but certain things had to happen to allow ch2 to go the way I wanted, and sorry for the switching b/t simple and slightly formal in Azzy's speech pattern, that's just the way I am, just like B-chan easily pissing people off in reality. This note is to those who have read 'A shinigami hell storm', yes the Azmarrea/Kristen in there is me as well and NO! I am Not like that in ch78!(=.=*) And a final note to my dad who will be reading this: Daddy, you ain't gonna understand a damn thing if you don't read Bleach first!

Reviews are love! Flames are accepted but please don't just say 'It sucked' tell me why and I'll try and fix the problem. 


	2. Pass it on?

When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches

By skitzokitty (=^.^=)

Warnings: I have absolutely no idea what is gonna happen (=-.-=), it's outta my hands, so as for warnings the possibilities: shit ton of cussing, blood and violence, not sure if that covers it…oh! And random bouts of schizophrenia and random shit! If I forget something just send me a reminder or request it.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Oh how I would love to own…

A/n: I've decided officially this story is gonna be AU from the start of chapter one but everything else (not counting Azzy and Bart's past) will be the same. Not complete AU but a good bit of it will be.

Dedications: I am dedicating this story to my sister, Kellie, aka the evil cheesecake aka Satan's child aka Bartholomew, without her inane ramblings, the oc's wouldn't have been created nor most of these situations, and this chapter is dedicated to all of my friends who like to join in a game of 'toss the kitty.' I won't forget that, by the way!(=.=)

On with the show! ^(=^.^ =)^

Chapter 2: Pass it on (?)

*****Azzy's pov*****

I woke up in a dark room with a throbbing pain in my head. I tried to get up but for some reason my body didn't wanna work. Looking down I realized someone had strapped me down to the bed. The straps were so tight I couldn't even wiggle an arm out to unbuckle the straps. I was quite possibly gonna have to hurt whoever did this to me, cause I don't like to be held down, it makes me stir crazy for some reason.

The sound of the door opening drew me from my thoughts. I closed my eyes quickly, hoping to look asleep so I could figure out who had done this.

I nearly jumped as a icepack was applied to my forehead. It made the pain go away a bit, but damn that was cold!

"How is she?" a male voice asked. _'I know who that is!'_ I thought to myself. It was Tousen-san!

"She'll live, but her sister is not going to be happy." I couldn't seem to place that voice. He was right though. _'Bart is gonna hurt me for being so stupid!'_ "What happened?"

"Wonderweiss startled her. Apparently she ended up slamming her head into the wall." Here he paused. "Were the restraints really necessary?" Tousen-san asked. I felt the pack being removed as the other guy moved.

"I felt so. She flailed around in her sleep." I learned right then and there that it is completely impossible to fake sleep if you're laughing. "Well, at least she's awake now."

"Lemme up." I looked over at the other guy. I was greeted by the sight of bright pink hair. _'I'm feel so stupid!'_ I thought to myself. _'I should've known it was Szayel-kun.'_

"What was so important?" Tousen-san asked. Szayel-kun was having trouble with the strap buckles.

"Huh?"

"When you came to my room."

"Oh! That. I was just wandering the halls randomly." I started humming to myself. Much to Szayel-kun's dismay it was _Geek in the Pink_.

*****15 minutes later*****

"How on earth did you have that much trouble? You supposed to be the genius." I was only teasing but Szayel-kun really couldn't seem to take a joke. He started arguing that the straps were 'supposed to be a bitch, so that you couldn't _get_ out!' as he so eloquently put it. Not that I cared I was just happy to be able to move around again.

So, I impudently patted him on the cheek and said: "It's okay, Yel-kun." And skipped out, yet again.

Since I was bored I decided to go to my room and read one of my books. B-chan wasn't likely to be back for a couple of hours so I could lay on her bed while I was at it.

I wish I was so lucky. I opened the door and saw my sister in a dressier version of her usual attire, the black t-shirt was replaced with a what looked to be a black long-sleeved blouse, and the pair of the typical Espada pants was replaced with white dress pants that had black flames licking up from the bottom hem. And being the idiot I am I took one look and called her the unthinkable. "Cu-dorable!" I was out like a light.

*****Bart's pov*****

After I had knocked my dumbass sister out, I realized I had nowhere to put her. I sure as hell wasn't going near that death trap she calls a room. _'No telling what might jump out at ya.'_ Then I got a great idea. '_Why not pass her off on to someone else?' _I thought to myself. It was perfect.

So, dragging her unconscious body out of my room and down the hall with one hand I attempted to fold the note I had written with the other.

"I wish I could see the look on his face when he finds her." I snickered quietly. This was petty but she had half way called me 'cute.' And I hate being called cute. She was lucky to get away with just being knocked out.

I set her, standing, against the door, knocked, and ran like hell. _'She's your problem now!' _I could have laughed right then but that would have given me away.

*****no one's pov*****

Ulquiorra looked up at the sound of knocking. This late at night no one generally came to his room for any reason. Irately, he stood up and walked to the door. _'This had better be important.'_ As the door swung inward so did Azmarrea's limp body. He didn't have a chance to move out of the way as she knocked him over.

"What the-?" he muttered. He grabbed her by the shoulders and rolled her off of his legs. A piece of paper crinkled as he pushed. Unfolding it, he read:

'_She's your problem now. Deal with it._

_ -B.'_

He sighed. Getting up, he grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. Scribbling a quick line, he pinned his note below Bartholomew's.

Taking hold of the back of Azmarrea's shirt, Ulquiorra dragged her down the hall to Grimmjow's room. He rubbed at his temple with his right hand. _'These girls are such a headache.' _ he thought to himself. He checked the lock on the Sexta's room before opening the door.

The sound of the shower permeated the silence. Ulquiorra walked to the bed and dropped her unconscious body unceremoniously and left.

*****Grimmjow's pov*****

'_Damn, I'm so fucking tired.'_ I thought to myself as I stepped out of the shower. With a yawn, I wiped the fog from the mirror. I wrapped a towel around my waist, and used another to dry my hair as I strolled out of the bathroom. I heard the sound of crinkling paper coming from my bed. There was the little weird ass freak's older sister laid out on my bed. I stood there dumbfounded for a minute before yelling "What the FUCK?"

Storming over to her I saw two pieces of paper pinned to her. The first was in that fucking priss's handwriting. It said _'What she said.' _I looked at the other and got pissed.

"What the hell is she trying to do?" I threw on some clothes and tossed her over my shoulder.

*****Nnoitra's pov*****

_BAM!_

I jerked up in surprise as my door slammed into the wall. Next thing I knew, a large object came flying at me followed by Grimmjow's laughter. I scrambled out of the way just in time for…whatever it was to land with a thump on the foot of the bed. I glanced from the crumpled body to Grimmjow and back to the girl. Grimmjow walked off laughing.

"Asshole." I called out the door to his retreating figure. An evil grin spread across my face. This might not be such a bad thing…for me that is.

I rolled her over onto her back. Just looking at the bruise on her head it was obvious that she wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. I leaned over her motionless body. At that moment she brought her knee up and over as she turned. She connected painfully with my lower region. I fell to the floor with a barely suppressed shriek.

The sound of muffled laughter made me look up. Another fucking little bitch stood there. Lilynette Gingerback stood there clutching her stomach laughing her ass off at me.

"What the hell do you want?" I ground out between clenched teeth. She looked at me seriously for a minute.

"I'll take her off your hands if you want, for a favor of course." she grinned deviously. I thought it over, I could always just wiggle my way out of the favor to get rid of both bitches at one time. This was probably a much better idea than the one I had prior to getting kneed in the crotch.

"Fine, take her and get out."

*****no one's pov*****

It was all part of the plan. Albeit, a stupid and rather petty one, but it was still one she put together herself. All she had to do was find the perfect way to use Azzy to aggravate the hell out of Stark. _'Since she flails so much when she's asleep maybe she can slap Stark around a bit!'_ she thought cheerfully to herself. Lilynette was tired of always having to resort to extreme measures to wake Stark. Azzy was about to become the new alarm clock.

She dragged the green-haired girl over to Stark's bed and laid her carefully next to him, so that she wasn't touching him…yet. She grinned slyly to herself. All she had to do now was wait. It shouldn't take too long, hopefully.

Minutes had ticked by and still nothing! What was with this girl? She flailed like a maniac in Szayel's lab, kneed Nnoitra, and was known for taking violent 'naps' behind Aizen-san's throne. And yet here she was still as a- she moved! Lilynette waited silently as the girl rolled over and shivered. _'This isn't what she was supposed to do!' _she thought angrily. She watched as Azmarrea got up, still asleep, and half crawled half shuffled closer to Stark and flopped back down with a sigh.

"I give up!" Lilynette shouted. "Nothing I do works for long! Let someone else wake him up!" With that she stormed out of the room.

*****End of chapter two*****

Yeah, I know that was a little strange wasn't it?(=~.~=) Well, anywhoodle, I'd just like to say GOMEN NASAI! *bows repeatedly* To all who read this I am so, so freakin' sorry that I haven't updated in weeks! My computer screen wasn't working cause I'm a flipping retard. You see to cord that plugs into the power strip wasn't in all the way so it wouldn't turn on. I only learned of this on accident a few days ago and my beta-not-beta aggravating pain-in-the-ass sister has been riding my ass to finish this chapter for ya'll. And don't worry in two or three days I'll have the third chapter up to make up for it.

Thanks to the _only_ two people who favorited the story. Reviews are love and I could really use some right now, the more I get the more I write. Particularly since no one reviewed before. (=T.T=) Oh! And before I forget, I started a Fiction Press account so if you wanna read non-anime stuff just look up Little Leopardess ( it's mostly just poems right now but some are based off of some of my fave anime characters and the voices in my head. So please read and review. BTW the first person to review will get one story written for whatever and whoever they want, anything you want just please review! ( I'm not above begging for this.)

Flames are accepted but please don't just say 'It sucked' tell me why and I'll try and fix the problem.


	3. Pranks and Promotion

When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches

By skitzokitty (=^.^=)

Warnings: I have absolutely no idea what is gonna happen (=-.-=), it's outta my hands, so as for warnings the possibilities: shit ton of cussing, blood and violence, not sure if that covers it…oh! And random bouts of schizophrenia and random shit! If I forget something just send me a reminder or request it.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Oh how I would love to own…

A/n: I've decided officially this story is gonna be AU from the start of chapter one but everything else (not counting Azzy and Bart's past) will be the same. Not complete AU but a good bit of it will be.

Dedications: I am dedicating this story to my sister, Kellie, aka the evil cheesecake aka Satan's child aka Bartholomew, without her inane ramblings, the oc's wouldn't have been created nor most of these situations, and this chapter is dedicated to Asconse, one of the people in my head, cause of him there have been a lot of people cursing him to hell and back hourly with all the traps, tricks, and pranks he's pulled. (less lately since he had a kid. She's so cute, looks a lot like her mama, Cellan. [thank goodness for that, hope he didn't hear that])

On with the show! ^(=^.^ =)^

Chapter 3: Pranks and promotion

*****Bart's pov*****

It was 2:30 in the fucking morning as I crept into the Octava's room. It wasn't dark at all. I mean he kept the damn light on! Wussy. Oh, well I guess not if he fell asleep at his desk working…huh. Whatever. Sneaking in wasn't all that hard really. He is seriously a deeper sleeper than my dipshit sister. Good thing he keeps the over crowded room neat or I'd've busted my ass.

I clutched the bottled in my hand a little tighter when Szayel turn his head. I waited a few seconds, just long enough to hear his breathing even out. I tiptoed to his bathroom with a sly grin. _'Wait til he finds this little surprise!' _I can just be _so_ evil sometimes.

Very carefully, I emptied the contents from one of the bottles on the side of the shower and replaced it with what was in mine. I crept back out of his room without incident.

'_One down.' _I thought as I worked my way to the next…ahem…victim. See, I have a 'list of potentials' just waiting, so I had to work quick to be done before I went to sleep.

*****Azzy's pov*****

I woke up the next morning in a daze. _'This ain't B-chan's room…'_ I thought blearily. I couldn't figure out where I was. I hadn't been in here yet.

"'Bout time you got up." I practically jumped ten feet in the air. Lilynette was sitting irately on the edge of her seat. I grinned widely at her.

"Mornin' Lily-chan!" She just glowered at me,

"Don't you 'Morning' me, Silverstag!" she snapped. She jumped up, and pointing an accusing finger at me, growled, "Do you know how long I have been waiting on you to move? I got you from Nnoitra so you could wake up Stark-" I took this moment to see that Stark-sama was indeed behind me. "-and what happens? You don't do shit! That's what!"

"Wait…you got me from Nnoitra-san? How? I was unconscious in B-chan's room."

"How should I know? I just go-" A rather piercing shriek interrupted her. I ran out the door to see Szayel storming his way down the hall…

In a towel…

With green hair…

He was trying to beat down B-chan's door, yelling at the top of his lungs. He wasn't the only one, either. Aizen-sama was making his way to her room as well. Gin-kun trailed him, grinning extraordinarily wider than usually. No small wonder, Aizen-sama's hair was looking a little…flat, I guess you could say. Not something you see everyday.

"What's the matter Aizen-sama?" I asked sweetly. He turned and showed me a piece of paper with B-chan's handwriting on it.

"This was left by your sister in my bathroom." The note read: _'Haha, no more bitch curl for you! -B.'_

"What are you trying to do to me, you stupid bitch?" Szayel screamed, practically beating the door down.

"Szayel-kun, I wouldn't do that if I were you," I warned. "She can be a real bitch if you wake her up before eleven." He looked at me like I was stupid. "Really, she doesn't go to sleep until three or four in the morning. Trust me, I've tried to wake her up and it wasn't pretty." I shuddered at the memory.

"Do you _see_ what she did to my hair? It's fucking bright goddamn green!" he yelled at me. I fingered a lock of my own hair.

"What's wrong with green?" I looked up at him, a little sadly. The look on his face was priceless. He couldn't seem to bring himself to insulting the color since it was mine. That and B-chan was likely to beat him down if he made me upset. So he settled for stalking back to his room.

In all the commotion I hadn't noticed that Aizen-sama had left, Gin, however, was still standing there. He looked me over.

"Nice guilt trip."

"Thank you! I learned it from B-chan." I grinned at him.

*****no one's pov*****four hours later*****

"Hey buck-face, wanna make a bet?" Bart yelled at Nnoitra. He tried to ignore her, but she kept getting in his face. "Horse-teeth, you listenin' to me or what? Oi, you with the spoon! Wanna make a bet?"

"No!" he snapped.

"Aw, come on. It'll be fun." He didn't respond. "Hey you owe me, so you're gonna make a bet with me."

"How in the hell do I owe your bitch ass anything?" he stood up trying to tower over her. It didn't work. Bart flexed her reiatsu violently. Nnoitra was slammed down to the floor.

"Who's a bitch ass now mother fucker? Now, while I've got you here, listen up." she stood up and walked over to where she had him pinned. "You see, it's like this: you owe Lilynette a favor, she owes me a favor, so If we cancel out Lilynette we come to the conclusion that by extension you owe me through her. Got it?"

"Fuck you, you dumbass bitch. I still don't owe you shit." he spat.

"Oh really?" She carefully put her foot between his legs. "And if I were to do this?" She pressed down on his crotch. Try as he might he couldn't suppress the shriek that came bubbling out of his throat. "So you gonna make that bet with me now?" she asked sweetly while still grinding her foot into his crotch. He gave a barely perceptible nod while still writhing on the floor in pain. "Good. You know, you're a pansy." she commented letting him up.

"What's this damn bet?" he managed to wheeze out a minute later.

"Oh I don't know…how about who would win a fight…between…"

"Your sister and Harribel?" Nnoitra suggested.

"Oooo, that's a good one!"

"How are you going to get them to fight."

"You're kidding me right? All I have to do is threaten Azmarrea and she'll willingly go to that fight." she smirked. "You go get Tia and I'll go find Azzy."

*****Azzy's pov*****

"But I don't wanna fight Harribel-sama!" I whined at my sister, not for the first time. She just ignored my protests and continued to drag me along behind her. "Where are we going?"

"Outside."

"Why?"

"Better area for your fight. Now shut up." We walked in silence until we got outside. There were people everywhere as if there was a show or something.

"Why are they all out here?"

"Are you that brain dead? They're here to watch. We've got a bet on who'll win. Right now I'm bettin' on you and I refuse to lose to Nnoitra. So if you don't win I'm gonna kill you, bring you back, and kill you again. You got me?" I nodded quickly. "Good girl."

I looked at the Arrancar that were assembled to see who I recognized. Most of the Espada was there, as well as a few I didn't know. Gin-san and Tousen-sama were there. They seemed to be debating something or other. Gin-san's smile faltered for a second then snapped back in to place.

"All right. Nnoitra where is she?" B-chan called out to the Quinta Espada.

"I'm here." Harribel-sama stepped out from the crowd to face me.

"Well? Get in there!" B-chan shoved me forward and closed the circle of spectators.

I glanced around nervously at the crowd. They, unlike humans, got strangely silent. I looked back at Harribel-sama. She stood there calmly, waiting watching. I figured that this was it, now or never, and knelt to draw my weapons.

I don't carry the same typical sword that just about everyone else has. What I use is a pair of daggers strapped to my calves. The blades are a few inches longer than an average dagger. The metal for the left one is an ever shifting swirl of silver and black, the other is blood red. The hilts were wrapped in three black ribbons a piece, they hung off the end, at least the length of my forearm.

Harribel-sama drew her sword. _'Pretty!'_ I thought to myself. Good thing I didn't voice that out loud. Woulda looked kinda stupid.

She chose that moment to strike. I barely had enough time to block it before she swung again.

*****20 minutes later*****

I don't know how it happened. There was no way possible for it to have happened. No way. Out of the question. But it did.

I won.

That sounds weird. I won. Still kinda in shock about that. All I know is one second Harribel-sama was going into her release form and then suddenly she stops mid-attack and says that I won. Just like that. I didn't even release.

It's so weird. I'm the Tercera Espada now. I'm Espada! Me! The Segundo's Fraccion older sister. Wow! Hey this means I finally get my own room and not B-chan's closet! This is gre-

_Wham!_

I look over at B-chan. She just knocked out Nnoitra-kun.

"What'cha do that for?"

"Because I can. Hey dare me to steal his spoon?" she grinned slyly at me.

"Yeah! Do it!" She tossed me a sharpie.

"Here, draw on his face when I'm done." I nodded. She pulled out a pocket knife she had swiped from the human world and proceeded to saw off that weird spoon shaped protrusion from his shirt.

"Hey why don't you attach it to something and give it to Aizen-sama?"

"Good idea. If anyone asks it was mine. Got it?"

"But-"

"Got it?" she leveled the knife at me. I gulped and nodded.

*****Bart's pov*****5 minutes later*****

After I found a two-by-four and some glue I stalked to the throne room. Azzy had a pretty good idea. I flung open the doors.

"Oh, Aizen-_sama_. I got you a little present." I whipped out the make shift spoon and presented it like it was some grand treasure. "For you, my lord." I said sarcastically. I knelt down and held it before me, grinning like mad.

"What _is_ that?"

"Nnoitra's spoon."

Azzy chose that moment to walk in. She held up a sharpie and said: "I'm done!"

*****End of chapter three*****

Man that was a long one, wasn't it? Sorry for not posting sooner.(=-.-=) My sister has been getting on to my ass for being so slow. Don't worry though the next chapter will be out much sooner since it was written waaay before the story was ever posted. BUT I won't put up the next chapter until I get at least two reviews. I'm not asking a lot. Really I'm not. Even if one person does it twice, I don't care.

Reviews are love and I could really use some right now, the more I get the more I write. Particularly since no one ever reviewed before. (=T.T=) Oh! BTW the first person to review will get one story/poem written for whatever and whoever they want, anything you want just please review! (I'm not above begging for this. Beg. Beg. Beg.(=^.^=))

Flames are accepted but please don't just say 'It sucked' tell me why and I'll try and fix the problem.


	4. Puppy Love

When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches

By skitzokitty (=^.^=)

Warnings: I have absolutely no idea what is gonna happen (=-.-=), it's outta my hands, so as for warnings the possibilities: shit ton of cussing, blood and violence, not sure if that covers it…oh! And random bouts of schizophrenia and random shit! If I forget something just send me a reminder or request it.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Oh how I would love to own…

A/N: K, so this story would have been the second chapter originally but the real 2 and 3 sorta came up and well…here we are! (=-.-=) Any whoodle, the entire chap is in Bart's pov, except for a small part at the end

Dedications: I am dedicating this story to my sister, Kellie, aka the evil cheesecake aka Satan's child aka Bartholomew, without her inane ramblings, the oc's wouldn't have been created nor most of these situations, and this chapter is dedicated to my dog, Bear, cause he was the inspiration and reason for Dermonte (I love my coffee stained mutt!)

On with the show! ^(=^.^ =)^

Chapter 4: Puppy Love

*****Bart's pov*****

"I'm done!" Azzy said. She tossed me the sharpie.

"Done with what?" Aizen asked. I realized that I had forgotten to mention the fight to the overlord of bitch curls. _'Man! A bet against him woulda been fun.'_

"Eh, nothin' much. You'll see in a minute if 'Mr. Ed' wakes up." I said flippantly. "By the way. Boobra isn't an Espada any more."

He seemed a little shocked by this. "Who is?"

"Me!" Azzy exclaimed from behind Aizen's big ass chair. When she got there, I don't know. She laid curled up like a cat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing back there?"

"Nap. Ain't gotta tree to sleep in." she yawned. I walked out. I could hear them arguing all the way to my room.

I showered and dressed as quick as I could. There was a particular thought stuck in my head, and it wasn't about to go away anytime soon. _'Go with the flow.'_ I thought to myself. Also, it'd probably piss off Aizen. So now I just _had_ to do it.

I opened a portal to the human world. _'Aizen's gonna be so pissed!'_ I could almost laugh myself silly at the thought. I didn't even wait for it to fully open before jumping out and slamming it shut.

Looking around, I realized I didn't know which part of Karakura town I was in. So I spun around, picked a random street, and followed it.

Eventually I came across this cute, little convenience store. There were two children, a boy and a girl, sweeping in front of the shop. Well, at least the girl seemed to be sweeping. The boy appeared to be swinging his broom like he was the all star batter and commentator as well. I could hear him from where I stood as if he were yelling it in my ear.

"Jinta swings! It's a homerun! And the crowed goes crazy!" he clearly missed the makeshift ball.

"Jinta, you're supposed to help me with the sweeping." He whirled on the girl. He pinned her to the ground and proceeded to pull on her hair.

"Don't think you can tell me what to do! You'll do what I say, Ururu!"

"Ow! Jinta, stop it!" she whined.

"it's not nice to pick on others. Don't'cha think?" I said calmly, walking over to the two of them. I crouched down in front of them. Smiling, I poked him in the forehead. "And you really shouldn't pick on girls." The boy scrambled up quickly as the girl ran into the shop. He pointed an accusing finger at me.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Boredom." This kid had the weirdest look on his face. _'I wonder why.' _

"Yeah, well you better get outta here before I-"

"Before you what?" I wasn't menacing the kid but he did have guts. "No, go on. I'm curious as to what you'd do."

"Jinta, get inside." The steady, quiet voice came from the shop. And out stepped the man that I had been warned about. Kisuke Urahara. I couldn't have been happier. He walked up to me, cane in hand.

"What is one of the Arrancar doing here?"

"Now who said I was an Arrancar?"

"You look like an Arrancar." He shot at me.

"Yeah, and you look like a pimp." I shot back. I think that one got him. He stood there kinda stunned. "And anyway, I'll one up your assumption." Turning my back on him, I flipped my hair over my shoulder. The gothic two on the back of my neck said it all, "Bartholomew Montoya. You can call me Bart. I'm the Segundo Espada.

'_Hm. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.'_ I mused. Urahara was pulling his blade.

"Don't even bother," I said, holding up a hand. "I'm not here to fight. Wouldn't even if Aizen told me too. The bitch." I muttered the last bit under my breath. I'm pretty sure he still heard me.

And that's when it happened. Exactly what I came for just sort of trotted by. A puppy. Make that a _Great Dane _puppy. He was kinda small, couldn't be more than a few months old. Using sonido, I went and picked him up and brought him back to Urahara.

"Look! Isn't he cute?" I warbled. "He looks like a chocolate-chocolate chip cookie. I'm gonna call him Dermonte."

"What is wrong with you?" he demanded. I laughed at him.

"Whadaya mean? There's nothing _wrong_ with me."

"You act like a school girl, you didn't immediately attack me on sight, and you're playing with a dog." he counted off on his fingers.

"Oh, is that all? Well, for your information…I like you! Bye!" I opened a portal and ran in to it. Looking back I said, "Don't worry, I'll be back to play again. And soon too." I closed the portal and trotted back to Los Noches.

When I got closer to home I heard a ear piercing scream and maniacal laughter. All of a sudden a flash of green sped past me followed by a slower flash of black. Azzy turned around, jumped over Nnoitra's head, and ran straight for me.

"B-chan! Help me!" she cried, hiding behind me.

"What the hell is you're problem?" She pointed at Nnoitra.

"He's trying to hurt me!" Nnoitra came back at us in a hurry. I spotted a silver gun in his hand. _'Must be the tattoo gun.' _

"Give me your sister, I'm gonna kill her." Nnoitra growled.

"Sure, when pigs flying, horse-face." I said. "What'd she do anyway?"

"She defaced my clothing and drew on me." He pointed at the damage. Dermonte started growling at Nnoitra.

"Alright Dermonte, I know he's ugly, but you can't growl at him for that. It's not his fault."

"Who the fuck are you calling ugly, bitch?"

"Say it, don't spray it."

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to? And what the fuck are you doing with a damn dog?"

I covered the puppy's ears. "Hey, hey, hey, asshole. Don't use such fucking foul language around him! He's just a baby." I snatched the tattoo gun from his hands. "I'll take this thank you. Come on Azzy." I turned pulling her by the arm. "By the way, I was the one who took your spoon."

*****End of chapter four*****

Coming soon to a deviantart near you! My sister is gonna make a pic of what Nnoitra looks like after we got thru with him. It may take a while but it should be done in time for the fifth or sixth chap if we get enough reviews(hint hint). This time I'm asking for three reviews. However it doesn't count if the reviews came from savethesharks or Rosamaria/Jynx. They are my friends, so they don't count.(thanx for reviewing though guys.) Reviews are love and I could really use some right now. (I'm not above begging for this. Beg. Beg. Beg. (=^.^=)) Flames are accepted but please don't just say 'It sucked' tell me why and I'll try and fix the problem. The first to review and isn't one of my friends will get one story/poem written for whatever and whoever they want, anything you want just please review!


	5. I Have My Own Now

When All Hell Broke Loose In Los Noches By LittleLoepard (=^.^=)  
Warnings: if you read the warning once I don t think you need it again so after this no more!  
Disclaimer: Don t own, don t sue. Oh how I would love to own A/N: OH My Ra! I m so sorry for not putting this up sooner! *cries in a corner* I ve been arguing with my sister over this chap, got thru a semester of college, had to leave college cause I couldn t afford it, got a job, lost job, been job hunting, got another job, trying to start a jewelry business, become second in command of a team dedicated to creating a environmentally-safe, mission-free engine, and generally been driven up the wall, over the ceiling, back down the wall, and across the floor in an interesting zigzag pattern .and now I m back! ^(=^.^=)^ So. For those who are still reading here s the sitch: there are a few new oc s here, just two so don t worry, they are the lasts ones I create for this story (I hope), otherwise it d get too crowded, ya know? Anyway it may take me a while to get the next chapter out as I ve got a lot of crap to do I ll try though.  
Dedications: I m dedicating this story to my sister, Kellie, aka the evil cheesecake aka Satan s child aka Bartholomew aka Pirate-kun, without her inane ramblings, the oc s wouldn t have been created nor most of these situations, and this chapter is dedicated to Zan and Jax, two of the people in my head. You ll see why soon enough.  
On with the show! ^(=^.^ =)^

Chapter 5: I Have My Own Now!

*****Azzy s pov*****

You two, get your asses over here. B-chan said to a couple of Arrancar that happened to be passing by. Now! The two looked skeptically at each other.

What makes you think that we ll do anything for you? The one with the wildly-styled brown hair growled or tried to. The other one smacked him upside the head.

Dumbass! That s the fucking Segundo. he hissed. What the hell do you want to fucking provoke her for? You re too damn weak. She d whip your ass before you could draw.

I don t give a rat s ass what you re mumbling about over there. Just get over here. she growled.

Whatcha need? the black haired one asked. He shot a dirty look at the other; daring him to comment.

Hold my sister down so I can tattoo this 3 on her.

The two apparently just noticed that I was standing make that laying there the whole time. B-chan had me pinned there with her foot. I just smiled and waved at them from where I was.

Hi-hi! I just got weird looks. I m Azmarrea. What s your names?

Zan Carezz. The raven-haired Arrancar replied. He s Jax Cooper.

Why do we need to hold her down? She looks willing enough. the brunette asked.

I m a bit jumpy about needles. I said. I coughed when B-chan put pressure on my chest. Ah can t breathe can t breathe! After I thrashed on the ground for a minute she let up on the pressure.

Then shaddup, stupid! Now, I don t care how you do it, just hold her down. she glared at the two men. They didn t move. Now!

After that they did their best to hold me down; Jax held my legs; Zan sat on my stomach, pinning my arms to my sides. I started to giggle cause the whole thing was a little absurd, but once that needle got close I spazzed.

*****Bart s pov*****

That stupid idiot just couldn t stay still for a few minutes could she? No. She had to fucking scream and squirm. Hell, she nearly managed to throw Jax off. I m fairly certain she could have if the other one hadn t had both her hands restrained.

One of ya ll do something now. I snarled. The black-haired one; I couldn t remember his name; bent over Azzy, got right up in her face.

He whispered something. I watched as Azzy s eyes glazed over and she went still. She didn t move save for a twitch of her mouth.

Why the hell didn t you do that to begin with? I growled. He shrugged.  
Didn t seem necessary at the time. Besides it was funnier to see her kick Jax in the face. he smirked, not moving his eyes from hers.

Shu ub. It wan t eben funny, dick ead. Jax said holding his still bleeding nose.

I shook my head.

Twenty three minutes, profuse swearing, many swings at Jax s head and a few interesting swears from Zan later, I finally finished the damn tat.

Yo, you can let her up now. I stood and snapped my fingers. Come on, Dermonte. Let s go take a nap. I m tired. He trailed after me, tail just a wagging. I couldn t help but smile.

*****Azzy s pov*****

What should we do now? Jax poked me in the head. I d poke him back if the damn paralysis wore off just a bit more. I can t tell if she s still under or not.

It damn well shoulda worn off by now. Really? Well maybe it was stronger than he thought. Dunno what s the fucking hold up. You and me both, I thought to myself. Zan looked at me with a conniving look in his eye. Hm What if we just leave her here?

Are you kidding? You warned me yourself! Her sister would track our asses down and do Aizen knows what! You re outta your mind. I ll stay till she wakes up then I m gone. No backbone. I thought to myself. Oh! I could finally move.

Aw, do ya have to go? I said startling them both.

Well, well, look who s up. Zan smirked. He offered me his hand.

You weren t really gonna leave me here were you? I pouted before taking his hand. Dang, he s tall. I had to look up at him, my head barely came up to his shoulder.

Nah. he replied. Jax just huffed out a breath. I got an idea.

Hey, you two don t happen to be anybody s fraccion do you? I asked hopefully. Zan shook his head. Well, then why not be mine? A strange look crossed his face before he nodded.

Sounds fine wi-

Oh, heeell no! Jax said with vehemence.

Aw, but why not? I looked up at him dejected. I pulled the kicked kitty look. He faltered for a few seconds, fumbling over his words before he got out what he was saying.

Girl, let s get one thing straight here, he said pointing an accusing finger at me. I do not, have not, and will not serve some soft, prissy, whiny, little girl. You got me?

That made me sad.

So I kicked him.

Hard.

Then I guess, I said leaning over his gasping form, It s a good damn fucking thing I m no where near prissy , whiny , or little , then huh?

You forgot soft. Zan threw in.

No I didn t. I beamed at him. I know that I m a bit of a softy. Otherwise he d be in a lot more pain than this in a much lower area. I giggled.

He was right about one thing you are little.

Am not! He s the same size as me! So he can t call me little .

Psychotic bitch. Jax gasped out, still holding his stomach.

Thank you! Now come on. I grabbed both of their hands.

Where are we going? Jax was trying hard to catch his breath. I was practically dragging him up off the ground.

I opened a portal to the human world. I wanna have some fun. I heard there are Vizards in Karakura! Never saw one before. I tugged on their hands. Come on. Let s go! Not wanting to get kicked again, Jax jumped through. Zan stood there a moment. I tilted my head at him. There was an odd glint in his eyes, one I couldn t discern.

Is something wrong? I asked. He smirked quickly before he flew straight at me. I closed my eyes and put up my arms to block whatever he was about to do. Next thing I know I m thrown over his shoulder as he jumps through the portal. His landing wasn t exactly gentle either. I heard him laughing at me.

How bout next time you warn me when you re gonna do that? I huffed and smacked his ass since it was the closer to me than his head.

Nope. he laughed.

You gonna put me down?

Nope.

What about telling me what that was all about?

Nope.

Asshole. I slung one arm around his neck and threw myself over his shoulder. Using the momentum and my grip to swing myself onto his back.

Damn straight.

He and Jax leapt from rooftop to rooftop going in one direction or another. I didn t have the foggiest idea where we were. Being jostled around like I was so wasn t helping me see where we were. At one point they started to speed up. That is until Jax ran face first into an invisible barrier and damn near broke his nose.

Son of bitch! he cursed, hand clamped firmly over it the bleeding appendage. I climbed down from Zan s back and started jumping up and down, clapping my hands.

Walk much dumbass? Zan sat down and leaned back against the railing.

Shut up, Zan. I don t want to hear it from you. he grumbled. I continued my jumping.

This is it! We re here! They re here! Ah! But there s a barrier. How do we get through? I rambled on. Oh! We can always just wait for one of them to come in or out. Sound good? They nodded. Good. Well, I m gonna take a nap. Night. I plopped down on a rather surprised Zan and promptly fell asleep.

*****End chapter 5*****

Hell that wasn t even close to how it was supposed to go, but well like I warned ya ll in previous chaps it s outta my hands. However I was quite happy when Zan and Jax volunteered to be my fraccion.(=^.^=) Aaaaand that s when it deviated from the original flight plan I mean outline evs. Well anywhoodle this time I m not asking for reviews even though they are my addiction (like coffee now). Great now I want coffee. NO MCDONALD S! Flames will be used to heat up my icebox of a room, but are much appreciated cause at least you said something. *runs off to make a pot of coffee* 


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